This wasn't my best year.

Unless fate has one last trick up it’s sleeve, I will have witnessed my umpteenth changing of the year. 2025. I remember switching from 1999 to 2000. “We will never live in the 1900s ever again” I recall thinking. Inflating the gravity of the situation of the changing years, feeling a sadness of what is essentially an arbitrary numbering of our days.

And now we’re about to close 2024. I like to look back through my images on my phone and see what happened. Reflect on the good. The bad. The unusual. And for the most part, the utterly mundane.

January

I celebrated the turning of the year in the Netherlands, for the first time in 14 years. Together with my wife. I love to visit the ocean on January 1st, have the wind blow away my worries of the past year and to metaphorically peak over the horizon.

It was awesome to introduce Chinatsu to my culture, friends, and food. Earlier I had also finally met up with my father. For the first time in 25 odd years. An experience I wrote about earlier. I was also able to catch up with my brother and mother. I love the atmosphere in The Netherlands around the holidays. I cannot wait to go back next year.

We also adopted a street cat! Her name is Doja and if you follow me on Mastodon you’ve certainly see me toot about her.

February

February mostly revolved around getting back in shape. My health would play a larger role down the line, and I think being in a great shape helped soften the blow of what was to come.

I also touched a prickly pear with my bare hands. It took a few weeks before my hands stopped itching. Never again.

March

Continuing our healty trend we were able to comfortably run 5k every other night. Quite proud of Chinatsu for this one. She was horribly out of shape, worse than me, but she persevered and was able to keep up with me easily.

I also enjoyed my first ride in the desert together with a good friend who kindly offered to take me, and I rewarded the desert by dumping my lunch into the dunes. Sorry about that, desert.

I also had to sleep alone for a few weeks, as Chinatsu took some time to visit her friends back in Japan. After having slept together for the past year, sleeping alone sucked ass. And not in a good way.

April

In April we got to enjoy the great floods of 2024 – with the UAE receiving more rainfall in a day than they usually receive in an entire year. Insurance rates have shot up as a result, and many cars you buy second-hand have flood damage. In the meantime Dubai has promised to invest billions in upgrading their infrastructure to deal with the future rains. It’s going to be April soon, so lets see how well they really have prepared.

In April I also got to visit good ol’ Singapore to catch up with some friends and some of my clients. I love visiting Singapore. The food is amazing and most of the people are great.

May

I saw a manatee eat it’s own shit in Seaworld which was a sight to behold.

I also rediscovered my love for FPS gaming and began playing PUBG intensely for a few months together with a friend back in Holland. A 120ms ping not detering us, we were able to grab Chicken Dinner a few times. Almost every day I think “I should go back into gaming” but then I never do.

The Space Shuttle built we started back in April was also finally finished. Definitely one of the funnest set we’ve built so far.

In an act of free will, I also bought a big tray of Ferrero Roche and ate it in a day or two. This, I cannot recommend. Try to get the 16 or 9 piece tray instead of the 72 ones. I think I’m done with Ferrero Roche for the rest of my life.

And last but not least, we also saw Andrew Schulz live in Abu Dhabi. It was an incredibly funny show, and I can’t wait for Comedy Week next year. I think Bill Burr and Jimmy Carr are coming, both of which I’d love to see live.

June

Halfway through the year already, we did another 5k fun-run inside of Ferrari World this time. An awesome experience running inside of a mall. We both completed the run in around 35 minutes which was slower than expected, but 5k more than if we didn’t run.

We also visited Singapore, this time together, again! The first few days were awesome and we saw all the sights that are there to be seen.

However as time went by, Chinatu started to feel more and more sick. We figured it was the oysters she ate, and on top of that I also caught my 3rd case of covid-19.

This trip was truly blursed, and Chinatsu decided to faint in the airplane sending everyone in the airplane in a panic. Luckily there was a doctor on board, actually two seats next to us, who was able to help get Chinatsu back on her feet. Or rather, with her feet up in the air. After a small meal she was able to sit up straight again. Those god damn oysters I tell you!

July

First thing we did when we got back was to try and figure out what was up. The first thing the doctor asked was “when was her last period”. Blasphemy! There’s no way Chinatsu was pregnant. She did stop with the pill, but only a few weeks ago, and my pull-out game is legendary.

“OK, I’ll schedule a test anyway” the doctor said and we laughed. Then they pumped her full of a saline solution and send us off with some medicine. Chinatsu would continue to feel like shit for the next few weeks.

Aaaaand Chinatu is pregnant.

I continued to play vidya with my friends and continued to be kinda good at it.

I also bought a 3d printer and designed some plugs to help keep the drainage pipe of our dehumidifier attached to the sink. Later on I would go and print other objects. Of course now it’s gathering dust.

August

I finally decided to fork out some cash to hire a personal trainer. Yes, finally! I begin working out 3~4 times a week and everyhing is awesome. I feel great. The poomp is real. My mooscles are getting stronk.

Also my Tower of Pi is born. 5 Rpi5s stacked together for my homelab. They all run Debian Rasberry or whatever the flavor of Debian is called. It’s running my homelab software, PiHole, and some other software.

The baby continues to grow and continues to stay a baby! We learn it’s a boy and we quickly decided to name him Thomas. Do not ask me what Neo’s first name is. And do not insinuate a relation because it’s definitely not related at all. Haha. (it is)

I also had this banger sandwich. Sometimes a man needs a meaty sandwich, if you know what I’m talking about. Yes you do.

I also rediscovered my love for tobacco, and particular cigars. Smoking perhaps one per week. Incredibly unhealthy. But also very delicious. Plus, I’m working out, eating mostly healthy. I’m in the best shape of my life! YOLO, innit.

September

I am now obsessed with working out. I count calories. Learn about macros. I’m feeling stronger and stronger. If I don’t work out for a few days I start to feel shitty. I’m on my way to become a Mastodon sex symbol. By the end of the month I had developed a baby-tricep and dear lord did it feel great seeing that.

I also visited Japan to settle some of my taxes and health insurance. A good moment to catch up with some friends and clients. And I’ve shared a cheeky beer here and there.

Parking lot meetings with clients is all part of the game. I don’t know what the game is. I just hear about it and assume that this is basically it.

I was also gifted this awesome cow milk cow. People went out their way to get this to me, and I will forever be grateful for their help. My grandmother had a similar milk cow. It’s awesome and I love it.

October

I’m starting to develop more and more mooscles and dear god do I feel great. Or do i? I’m not sure. Maybe I strained myself. Anyway, it’s all part of the game. Yes I feel more winded than before, but that’s probably because I’m working extra hard. Also why am I agitated all the time? Work stress. Most definitely. We also flew to Holland. One last trip before the baby.

Wasn’t feeling too good by the end of the trip! But hey, probably caught a bug whilst traveling. It happens right.

November

I notice I don’t have as much energy anymore and I scale down my working out. My resting heart rate goes up. But that’s normal when you have a cold. Right? Right? yeah definitely. Completely normal.

Microsoft releases it’s 2024 version of Flight Simulator and in anticipation I buy nice controllers and begin playing 2020 again. I get absolutely lost in the 2020 version, and basically forget all about the fact that I’m actually feeling like complete trash.

We also buy our first Christmas tree in the UAE and Doja promptly claims it hers, and is ready to destroy it.

December

I wake up and I don’t feel to good. I go to write the Famichiki Wrapped bot, when I notice my resting heart rate is above 100. Hmm, this isn’t good. Maybe I should visit the clinic later. I stand up to get a cup of coffee. My heart rate spikes to 150. OK, maybe I should visit the clinic now. I drive myself to the clinic and fail to get up from the chair in the waiting room. I’m feeling a sense of anxiety that I haven’t felt since I was an angsty teenager. I’m sweating. I’m confused. This is probably not good.

The staff kindly wheelchairs me to the cardiac department where I get an ECG. The doctor says I shouldn’t worry, but they’re going to call an ambulance to take me to a bigger hospital. My blood pressure goes wild and for the first in a long time I was worrying about my mortality.

At the hospital I was seen immediatley by a team of cardio doctors and endocronoligists, blood was taken, more ECGs. I was hungry. I wasn’t allowed to eat. My heart rate continued to beat well over 100 beats a minute. I was scared. I was anxious. But I felt like I was in good hands. 30 minutes later I was wheeled into the ICU. The what? The ICU.

My phosphate levels were dangerously low and my thyroid hormones dangerously high. A diagnosis. Wow that was quick. “Graves Disease, most likely”, the endocrinologist told me. It’s not fun, but it’s managable. But first lets focus on getting you out of here.

Two nights I spent in the ICU. One night I spent in the recovery ward. I had friends visit and help my wife. I had to draft a will. I had to let my parents, friends, and brother know. Dear god. I contemplated my mortality constantly. It’s dumb. They tell you it’s OK. But the beeps and sounds and people remind you that if it wasn’t for them, I’d be in much worse situation. I wanted to go back to 8 weeks ago. I wanted to be on the sofa watching my dumb YouTube videos on the sofa cuddling with Chinatsu. I wanted to play with Doja. I wanted the never-ending beeping of the machines to stop.

My mind raced at a million miles an hour. I’m agitated. I get medicine. Thyroid tablets to keep my thyroid in check and beta blockers to keep the adrenaline at bay. It helps. I start feeling better. In the last two weeks of December I visit the hospital a few times a week. More checks. More blood. My arms starting to look like a junkie. I start to get to know the nurses and they begin to remember me.

Tomorrow, on December 31st I’m going to run tests to get more clarify on what is happening with my thyroid. Nuclear medicine. Doesn’t that sound inviting?

The doctors and nurses here often say that god is with me. I don’t know about that. I haven’t exactly lived a puritan life. But I do know that my friends, family, and Chinatsu have been with me. Your support has been absolutely incredible. I cannot believe how kind everyone has been and how supportive everyone has been.

Right now, I feel good. In fact, I feel great. But I can’t plan for the future at the moment. That sucks. Because I have no patience. Things are going to be different. Which is cool. It happens. Such is life. I’m alive. I’m getting better. I’m in good hands.

But I do feel I need to live a little bit less in the fast lane. I need to take my time more. I need to enjoy my time more. I need to reevaluate my priorities. What are my priorities? I need to determine my priorities.

Every day above ground is a good day. Life is good. And I hope soon it’ll become even better.

If you’ve read up until this point, or just scrolled all the way down, I wish you nothing but the best of health for 2025.

As long as we have our health, everything else will be alright.

• Brian